Flow written by Mihaly Csizkenmihaly
ఏంటి పేరు స్పెల్లింగ్ ఒకలా ఉంది అనుకుంటున్నారా? ఈయన ఈ పుస్తకం లో మనందరికీ ఎలాంటి అవుట్ సైడ్ influence లేకుండా మన లోపల నుంచి మనల్ని మనమే ఏ పని అయినా ఒక ఫ్లో లో ఒక జోన్ లో ఎలా చేయాలి? ఎంతో కష్టం అయినా పనులను కూడా సింపుల్ గ ఎలా చేయాలో ఈ పుస్తకం లో అద్భుతం గా వివరించారు, ఈ ఆర్టికల్ చివరిదాకా చదివితే లేదా పై వీడియో పూర్తిగా చుసిన అద్భుతం అని మీరు కూడా ఒప్పుకోక తప్పదు,
Enjoyment vs pleasure
Pleasure అంటే మనం ఎం చేయకుండా, ఎలాంటి ఎఫర్ట్ పెట్టకుండా పూర్తిగా హ్యాపీ గ, రిలాక్స్ అయిపోవడం. Ex : watching tv , sleeping etc
Enjoyment అంటే మనం physical గ కొంచెం ఎఫర్ట్ పెట్టాల్సింది ఉంటుంది, మెంటల్ గా ఆలోచించాల్సింది ఉంటుంది, అండ్ ఒక దానిని సాధించడానికి ఒక ప్రయత్నం మనం ఎంజొయ్మెంత్ లో చేస్తాం. EX : Playing , Cooking etc
మన పనిలో మనం ఫోకస్డ్ గ ఉండాలంటే మనకి దొరికిన కాలి సమయాన్ని ఎక్కువగా enjoyment కి వాడాలి గాని pleasures కి లోను అవ్వకూడదు.
How to enjoy your work ? challenges ఉండాలి అలాగే వాటిని ఎదురుకునే స్కిల్స్ మనకి ఉండాలి, ఎప్పుడైతే చేసే పని లో మన స్కిల్స్ కి మించి challenges ఎక్కువగా ఉంటాయో మనకి ఆందోళన ఎక్కువ అవుతుంది, అలాగే ఎలాంటి challenges లేకుండా ఆ పని ఉంటె స్లో గ మనకి బోర్ మొదలు అవుతుంది, అందుకే ఈ రెండు మన పనిలో ఉండేలా మనం చూసుకుంటే మనం చేసే పనిలో మనకంటూ ఒక ఫ్లో దొరుకుతుంది.
Finding flow in your work
మన పని లో మనం ఫ్లో వెతుకోవాలి అంటే మనం ఒకటే చేయాలి, ఒకేసారి ఎక్కువ challenges ఉన్న వర్క్ ని తీసుకోకుండా మన స్కిల్స్ కి తగ్గ challenging గా ఉండే వర్క్ ని తీసుకుంటా నిదానంగా ఇంప్రూవ్ అవుతూ వెళ్తే మీరు ఒక ఫ్లో ని మీ పనిలో పట్టుకుంటారు.
Focus on your ideas not on your flaws
మన పనిలో మనకి challenges బాగా ఎక్కువ ఉంటె మీకు ఆందోళన కలగవచ్చు ఆ సమయంలో ఈ పని నావల్ల కాదులే అనే ఆలోచన కి వచ్చే ముందు ఒకసారి మళ్ళి ఆ పని లో మీకు ఇష్టమైన విషయం మీద మీరు concentrate చేయండి, దీనివల్ల మీకు ఉన్న ఐడియా ఇంప్రూవ్ అవుతుంది మీ స్కిల్ పెరుగుతుంది ఛాలెంజ్ ని అధిగమిస్తారు.
అలాగే, మీ పని ఎక్కువ challenging గా లేదు అంటే ఈ పని ని నిన్నటి కంటే ఫాస్ట్ గ పూర్తి చేస్తా, అని మీతో మీరే అనుకుని ఒక ఛాలెంజ్ ని మీరే సృష్టించుకోవాలి, అప్పుడు మీకు బోర్ అనిపించదు, మీ పనిని మీరు హ్యాపీ గా పూర్తి చేస్తారు.
Come back to your roots
ఎపుడైనా మన పని లో మనకి ఒంటరితనం అనిపిస్తే, ఒకసారి మీ ఫ్రెండ్స్ అండ్ ఫామిలీ తో కలిసి enjoyment కి టైం ఇవ్వండి, pleasures కాదు only enjoyment , దీనితో మీరు recharge అవుతారు, అప్పుడు మళ్ళి మీ పని మొదలుపెట్టవచ్చు.
How to Stay focused
మీ పని లో మీరు ఎప్పుడు ఫోకస్డ్ గా ఉండాలంటే మనకంటూ మూడు స్ట్రాటెజిలు ఉండాలి.
ఒకటి loose your ego and trust your ability
చేసే పనిలో మనం తీసుకునే నిర్ణయాలు లో ఎప్పుడు మన ఎబిలిటీ నే ఆధారంగా చేసుకుని ముందుకు వెళ్ళాలి, ego కి మాత్రం తీసుకోకూడదు.
రెండు Being mindful
మన గోల్ కోసం మనం పడుతున్న కష్టం కోసం మన మైండ్ ఎప్పుడు మన పని మీద దాని ప్రతి ఒక్క డీటెయిల్ మీద concentrate చేయాలి గాని భయపడకూడదు.
మూడు Search for novel solutions at your difficult times
ఎంత కష్టమైనా పరిస్థితుల్లో ఉన్న మన ఆలోచనలు ఎప్పుడు ఆ పరిస్థితి కి సొల్యూషన్ వెతికే పనిలోనే ఉండాలి.
Focus on your goal and take action
మన జీవితానికి ఒక అర్ధం ఉండాలి అంటే మనకంటూ ఒక మంచి గోల్ ఉండాలి అండ్ ఆ గోల్ ని సాధించడానికి మనం బలమైన కోరిక తో బలమైన నిర్ణయాలతో మనం ఒక ఆక్షన్ తీసుకోవాలి.
సో, మీ ఫ్లో ని పట్టుకోండి, ఒక ఫ్లో లో అన్ని పనులు చేసేయండి.
the inspiring words of SBI Chairman Rajnish Kumar
“In any field, the first requirement is that you should like your job. If you keep on cribbing about it or your heart is not there, then it is very difficult (to make that journey to the top). Second is, that I had never said no to anything that came my way. Never have I complained that I don't like a particular position or a centre. So, whether it was a particular centre or assignment, I accepted everything willingly and happily. Third, is of course, the fact that temperamentally, I'm not someone who quarrels.”
“I was posted at Pilibhit and nobody wanted to go there. Many of my friends told me that they weren’t sure whether I will come back. But my attitude towards work and generally, what I also tell my people, has been that once something has been given to you, then there is no point in crying about it,” Rajnish says.
“What happens is that when you have tasted some success, it feeds on itself. So, nobody would complain about a 5 percent growth in 1980 because back then the growth was 2.5 percent. Today, we complain about 5 percent growth because we have seen 8 percent and we want 10 percent.”
“I was posted at Pilibhit and nobody wanted to go there. Many of my friends told me that they weren’t sure whether I will come back. But my attitude towards work and generally, what I also tell my people, has been that once something has been given to you, then there is no point in crying about it,” Rajnish says.
“What happens is that when you have tasted some success, it feeds on itself. So, nobody would complain about a 5 percent growth in 1980 because back then the growth was 2.5 percent. Today, we complain about 5 percent growth because we have seen 8 percent and we want 10 percent.”
The Now Habit Summary
1-Sentence-Summary: The Now Habit is a strategic program to help you eliminate procrastination from your life, bring fun and motivation back to your work and enjoy your well-earned spare time without feeling guilty.
Read in: 4 minutes
Favorite quote from the author:
When I just learned how long The Now Habit has been around I was shocked. It combines so many now-common productivity practices that at first I thought it might have been an aggregation of a lot of them. In fact, it just might be the original source.
This book dates back to 1988. A crucial difference in how it tries to remove procrastination from your life is that it focuses on the potential upsides instead of obsessing over avoiding your distracting habits.
If you don’t focus on what will make your life better, the best you can hope for is that your life won’t get worse. So bringing back to your work the fun and drive you had as a kid is essential for this to work.
Dr. Neil Fiore has even developed his own program to help people implement the strategies from the book.
Here are 3 lessons to show you where procrastination comes from and how to deal with it:
- Procrastination is trained into us.
- Try to unschedule your life.
- Record your distractions to block them.
I hope you’ve stretched your leg, because we’re about to kick procrastination in the butt. Hi-yaaa!
Lesson 1: We’re not innately lazy. Procrastination is trained into us as kids.
“Hasn’t anyone ever taught this kid some discipline?” is probably in the top 10 sentences uttered by grandparents on a regular basis. Often shaped by wars and economic depression, older people often had no choice but to grow up fast and tighten their belts – habits they tend to keep.
Young parents are often worried about not teaching their kids as well as their parents did, so they’re likely to listen to grandma and grandpa and bring out the good old reward and punishment.
“Do your homework or you won’t get to watch any TV tonight!”
But that’s exactly the wrong move. Children aren’t innately lazy. No one is. Just because kids don’t consider the things we call “work” to be fun doesn’t mean they’re not motivated to do anything.
Everyone has things they do without procrastinating. Kids never procrastinate on playing and they don’t judge their “work.”
Isn’t it odd that around the time we enter school we first start to dislike things?
Procrastination isn’t an innate character trait. It’s trained into us. A learned behavior. And we learn it in two ways:
- School teaches us that work isn’t supposed to be fun. It’s the opposite of playing. “You HAVE to solve these math problems now.”
- School teaches us that only the best is good enough. If we’re not the best, we need to try harder.
If work isn’t fun and only being the best at work is worth something then that’s the perfect setup for procrastination. No one can ever possibly fulfill their own expectations and no one wants to get started in the first place.
Lesson 2: Try to unschedule your life and build your work around your fun, not the other way around.
And that’s exactly the typical scenario you’re left with if you have to give a presentation to your boss. Creating the slides doesn’t sound like fun (because people tell you it’s not supposed to be) and boy, you better ace it, or you might not have to come back tomorrow.
So what do you do? You check Facebook. You open an empty Powerpoint file. Check Facebook again. Try to type a headline. Delete the headline. Then go to Youtube and watch Jamie Oliver make some delicious pasta, jump to a TED talk and whoops, time to go home!
But what if your schedule didn’t show you all this work that’s left to do? What if instead, it showed you that your life isn’t just work? That there’s plenty of fun to be had with some work in-between?
That’s what unscheduling is about. Fiore suggests you throw out your old calendar and schedule the pleasant things you want to do throughout the week, like meeting a friend for lunch, going to the movies, riding your bike in the morning or taking a walk in the afternoon.
Then let work fill up the rest of your time. Break your work into little chunks and chip away at it in short, 30-minute Pomodoro blocks in the gaps between fun activities. You can then book these hours into a working hours account and feel good about yourself.
This technique has two major advantages: you show yourself that the focus is on the fun part of your life and the amount of time you have left to do work is limited, so you have to use it well.
Lesson 3: Note down your distractions to block them and evaluate their importance later.
If you’ve read Getting Things Done, then this will sound very familiar. Fiore says that we let little interruptions take over our attention and day because we deal with them instantly.
When you remember you have to buy paper towels, have a great idea you need to talk to a colleague about, or they remind you about a request, it seems to make sense to take care of it right away. In reality, this just distracts you from the important thing you’re currently working on.
To take care of these things before your focus shifts, keep a piece of paper or little notebook with you at all times and instantly note down potential distractors. This resembles the collection bucket from GTD, but Fiore adds an important twist.
Not only will doing this allow you to stay focused, it also gives you a chance to evaluate these tasks again later. At the end of your day, take a look at that day’s list and ask yourself for all items on it: is this really that important? Do I have to do this at all?
You’ll often see things aren’t nearly as urgent or important and save yourself a lot of time!
Twenty-one years ago, psychologist Neil Fiore released his book The Now Habit. Here's a look at his revolutionary book on overcoming procrastination at work and enjoying our free time guilt-free.
If you've climbed out from under a soul-crushing project list, cleaned out and redefined your to-do list, and set firm boundaries between work and play, but you still feel like you aren't handling the weight of broken commitments and unaccomplished work, plain and simple procrastination may be the root of your stress.
The Root of Procrastination
Many people believe that overcoming procrastination is simple: just work harder. The implication is that procrastinators are simply people who aren't working hard enough or who don't have a system in place that helps them to work hard enough. The Now Habit was revolutionary for being the first mainstream procrastination self-help book that focused on helping procrastinators deal with the psychological reasons behind procrastination and skipped the lectures on discipline and motivation. Photo by James Lee.
Instead of treating procrastination like a lazy man's disease that can be cured by a stiff shot of Puritan Work Ethic, Fiore redefined procrastination and the subsequent treatment:
Procrastination is a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision. (5)
The first section of Fiore's book focuses on defining procrastination, its causes, and our motivation for procrastinating. Few people could read through it and not see some of themselves in the examples Dr. Fiore provides from his practice and his years of treating patients. I can't replace a thoughtful and reflective reading of the first portion of the book in this overview, but I can suggest you reflect on the three main ways people procrastinate:
- ...as an indirect method of resisting pressure from authorities;
- ...as a method of lessening fear of failure by providing an excuse for a disappointing, less-than-perfect performance;
- ...and as a defense mechanism against fear of success by keeping us from doing our best. (25)
Overcoming Procrastination: Observation, Reframing, and Unscheduling
Changing your procrastination behaviors begins with an honest reflection on what motivates your habit. Knowing why you do something, however, is only part of the process. Adopting new habits requires solid scaffolding and tools to help you approach work and play in a new way. Here's how Fiore breaks it down:
Get a handle on how you spend your time. Similar to budgeting and dieting, the only way to really understand how you're spending your time is by tracking it. Keep a time schedule. It doesn't matter if you buy a paper-based day planner and fill it in with pencil or log it on your computer using a tool like RescueTime (or any of the other popular time-tracking applications). You can't honestly assess how you spend your time unless you measure it first. Photo by dbking.
Stop talking like a procrastinator and start talking like a producer. Language is powerful, and Fiore believes that procrastinators tend to wield its power negatively. The worst time in my life was when, faced with the increase in responsibility and time constraints that come with being a full-time worker, husband, and father, I started saying "I don't have time to relax". Do you know what happens when you tell yourself that you don't have time to relax? You allow work to fill every available minute of your day. If you don't have time to enjoy life you might as well be working, right? The minute I stopped saying "I don't have time to relax" and started saying "I must make time to relax.", everything changed for the better. The work never went away, mind you, I just had a renewed focus on containing it and keeping it from eating away at my personal time.
Be realistic and productive in your worrying. Non-procrastinators think of procrastinators as lazy and careless. The reality for most procrastinators is that they care way too much. They worry that the work they do isn't good enough (so they put off doing it so they have an excuse for not meeting their own unreasonable expectations). They worry that the worst possible thing will happen if they don't get their act together (they'll lose their job, people will find out they aren't as competent as believed, or they'll fail at accomplishing what really matters to them). Photo by Keo 101
Fiore asks: What's the worst that could happen? What would you do if it did? How would you overcome that worst case scenario? Worrying paralyzes the procrastinator; break through it by assessing your worry as though you were helping a friend. You wouldn't saddle your friend with unreasonable worry or ridiculous theories about what could go wrong—you'd help him see how he could succeed even when it was tough. (As performance artist and speaker Ze Frank puts it: avoid hoarding ideas like they're brain crack.)
Start "Unscheduling" your calendar. On the surface, procrastinators might seem to have lots of fun. They seem to goof off a lot, right? Who hasn't procrastinated away a few hours here or there playing games, surfing time-sink web sites, or otherwise not really digging into their important work? That kind of behavior is a sinister fusion of fake work and fake play at the same time. You're unhappy because work is looming over your head, you're unhappy because you're not getting that work done, and you're unhappy because the "play" you're engaging in isn't relaxing because you know you're just avoiding getting work done. You're cheating yourself on all levels.
Fiore encourages procrastinators to get away from preemptively scheduling work and focus on unscheduling. Unscheduling is a massive shift in thinking from how most of us use calendars and schedules. Rather than start by filling the calendar with the work you want to do, you start by scheduling fixed commitments and play. You reverse your calendar and begin with the premise that you need (and deserve) at least one hour of play and relaxation a day and at least one day of work off a week. You schedule those first, as well as previously committed time—like when you sleep, eat, exercise, commute to work, and other blocks of time you must expend each day.
Why do this? Fiore highlights how procrastinators are almost always very poor at gauging the amount of time available for tasks. You don't have 24 hours in a day to devote to work. You have to tend to all your other commitments—like spending time with your family, walking your dog, and living. You need to see those things on the schedule both to help you understand where your time goes and set realistic goals for work and what you can accomplish at any given time. Photo by Erik Fitzpatrick.
Where does the actual work go on this schedule, you ask? It goes on the schedule after you spend 30 minutes of quality time working on it, and not a moment sooner. You don't block out 9AM-11AM for next Monday with the promise to yourself that you'll "Work on the Johnson Proposal". That sort of scheduling is what creates the stress that you're not doing what you should be doing. Instead, you come into work on Monday, and after you invest focused effort on the Johnson proposal, you put that on your unschedule. Think of your calendar as a time clock you're using to "bill" productive work. You can only punch the clock for the work you actually do. Your calendar becomes a living record of your achievements instead of a prediction of the unrealistic expectations you're bound to be unable to meet. As the weeks go by, you'll start to get a picture of how much work you can realistically do in a day.
Fiore also urges readers to focus on small blocks of time with a focus on realistic output. In addition to limiting the total amount of time you spend working (and recognizing the limitations of how much work you can do in the process), focus on limiting the size of your individual blocks of work. If you sit down in front of a task with an open-ended schedule like "I need to finish this entire project by the end of the day", you're setting yourself up for a bout of procrastination. In the mind of a procrastinator, the end of the business day is practically in the next century. Instead say "I have 30 minutes to work before I must take a small break to relax. What can I realistically accomplish in 30 minutes?".
I've read The Now Habit multiple times, I've given copies away to college freshman I'm teaching (every year I watch them struggle with procrastination and time management), and I've praised the book to anyone who confided in their struggles with procrastination and a sense of despair in the overwhelming nature of their work. If you've read books about procrastination and put them down in frustration after they turned out to be a rehash of the old "just focus and work harder!" shtick, Neil Fiore's The Now Habit is a refreshing look at the habits and thinking that drive procrastination and what you can do to change the way you work and play.
10 Movies Scenes Which Will Inspire The Entrepreneur Within You & Motivate You To Break The Barriers
Entrepreneurs are hungry; for success for business, for inspiration, for practically anything that’s available anywhere – anytime. Films are best viewed for artistic pleasure or entertainment purpose. But there are Hollywood and Bollywood films that give hardcore entrepreneurial lessons. And in such films, there are always moments that can inspire you – to be better of yourself – on the field, on business, or in life.
Here is our pick on best moments in movies – regardless of the language – that inspires the entrepreneur in you.
1. Boiler Room
Ben Affleck comes across as a shrewd businessman who looks at new hirings beyond their face value. Tells the naked truth that hits the newly hired personnel to search deeper. Here, the looks are deceiving and superficiality is trivial. Substance over form is the rule. Distinguish the essential from frivolity.
Watch the clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfIKzReNDF4
2. Rocky Balboa
A sort of monologue of Silvestre Stallone is an inspiration at its best. This one has a generic appeal to it but if entrepreneurs are up for taking it on a professional level, it teaches about ‘never giving up’. What Rocky calls ‘life’, listen to it as ‘competitors’ and then you will see how the narrative changes.
Watch the clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E8cDw4EHMA&t=3s
3. Jerry McGuire
Source: Storypick
This is the opening montage from the film where Tom Cruise is writing a mission statement. If you really want to know what it means to be an entrepreneur, watch this film with a vengeance. This is the moment in film, which sets one thing clear – people play a pivotal role to the success of business. For every entrepreneur, people should matter the most. Be it customers, partners, or employees. The dream of building an empire cannot turn true if you do not have the right people.
Watch the clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDbV2-tZgbg
4. Moneyball
Good things in business take time and at that time you are supposed to do the homework. This scene is a perfect example of how things shape up when the knowledge is put to best use. Numbers, reasons, statistics, all these things speaks in business. It is perhaps the only language that a business understands. Applying your knowledge will always unfold patterns in the business which in turn will open your perspective that helps to take a sound decision.
Watch the clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWPhV6PUr9o
5. Trading Places
This one’s a short, crisp punch of motivation from Dan Aykroyd to Eddie Murphy who is on the way to his first white-collar job. It is a small moment where Dan pumps up Eddie on how to work inside the World Trade Center. Though a short one, these few lines can work to pump you up for the day and keep you charged as well.
“Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That’s the other guy’s problem.”
Watch clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYFViWnEq70
6. Any Given Sunday
Source: ESPN Twitter
This one is perhaps the best inspiring moment of all time in the history of cinema. Al Pacino delivers a stunning speech to the team. Share this with your startup’s A-team if you haven’t already and this will make them understand how every small detail in the business – matters. It is a highly motivational speech on winning and losing, life and death.
Watch the clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_iKg7nutNY&t=9s
7. Wolf of Wall Street
Leonardo Di Caprio nails this act and makes it one of the most memorable scenes in not only the film but also one act of inspiring cinema from Martin Scorcese. The idea is clear – you are here for money… so make it. The futuristic comparison of the colleagues and the ideal life that they should be choosing is an inspiration not only for the staff but also for the leader who can influence the employees pretty well.
Watch the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQleT6BtCbE
8. Jobs
Picture credit: Albert Watson
This scene takes place after his fallout from team LISA. It is the selflessness that matters as an entrepreneur where you will put innovation above you, where you will put an idea above your self-respect, where you have a team that believes in your idea just the same as you. It is the emotion of outperforming oneself and being creatively passionate that runs through this guy. For entrepreneurs, this is infectious.
Watch the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFe36fel-t0
9. Guru
This one has a powerful performance by Abhishek Bachchan portraying the life of India’s first self-made business tycoon – Dhirubhai Ambani. The climax is inspiring for every entrepreneur around, especially with the sort of zeal and vigour it displays in conducting the business. He is someone who looks only the results, ruthless, crazy, mad, and even insensible – call whatever but he sure knows the way to make a profit. It is a rousing speech that can have a lasting impact on any individual – entrepreneur or not.
Watch the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKqKWbMmeX4
10. The pursuit of happiness
It is a small scene but so much significance. You will have to go and grab for what you dream. Entrepreneurs nurture a certain dream and they need to protect it as well. This is one small moment in a film where a child learns an important lesson from his father who tells him not to believe in anyone who says “you can’t do it”.
Watch the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvtxOzO6OAE
What are the other films and its moments which you think can inspire entrepreneurs around? Have any film scene moved you enough to inspire in becoming better at business? Is there any dialogue in the film that has motivated you? Do drop those in the comments section.
About The Author
Shrijay is an entrepreneur with excellent business acumen. With a decade-long experience of working with some of the most disruptive eCommerce startups across the globe, Shrijay believes in team building, customer service, and execution to be the most critical processes for building a sustainable business. He currently leads a LegalTech company: LegalWiz.in which helps Startups and SMEs in India to easily comply with the law.
What You Resist Persists
The timeless axiom inspired by The Law of Attraction — What you resist persists — is worth revisiting often because it is so important. Resistance to "WHAT IS" is one of the most common traps that people fall into that is causing both; (A) present moment unhappiness, and (B) attracting more unpleasant and undesired situations, of a similar nature, into their lives in the future — essentially sabotaging themselves.
This axiom is related to one of the key Law of Attraction Pearls of Wisdom that I've written about before — Focus on what you want, not what you don't want. "What you resist persists" is just another way of saying "Don't focus on what you don't want." Because when you are resisting things you don't like that's EXACTLY what you are doing — FOCUSING on what you DON'T WANT! If you realized how counter-productive fighting against situations that aren't going your way is, you'd be appalled and cease the habit immediately. It might not be too much of an exaggeration to say "Resistance is Futile!"
To resist something is to oppose it, or push against it, to try to force it to something other than it is. When you put your focus on fighting, or struggling against an unwanted situation in your life, be it work, debt, ill-health, something painful in your past, a difficult relationship, or whatever what you are effectively saying to the Universe is GIVE ME MORE OF THIS — because that's the way the Law of Attraction works! It always gives you more of what you focus on.
There are many unwanted situations that arise in our daily lives. Thankfully, most are minor. How we perceive and respond to these little, or not so little, undesired circumstances can make all the difference in the world in the experience we create for ourselves and others involved. Most people, to varying degrees, fight or resist circumstances like these, allowing themselves to become frustrated, annoyed, impatient, indignant, or even mad — often accompanied by complaining and blaming. And of course, this only serves to create a less wonderful and more unpleasant experience for themselves and everyone involved.
You know when you are resisting something — your mind festers on the situation or subject, and you feel frustrated, annoyed, and unhappy. And it is often accompanied by complaining and blaming, and bitching and moaning. It might be a person who is thwarting your plans, or a circumstance that is counter to your expected or desired outcome, or a policy that you think is wrong or is hindering you — you name it. There are endless variations at every level — from personal to collective, and from minor to major.
Why Is Resistance So Counter-productive?
Not only does resisting WHAT IS lead to unhappiness in the present moment but, by The Law of Attraction, it also makes it more likely that the undesired situation will continue and similar undesirable circumstances will occur in the future! Resistance is one of the habits that is unknowingly sabotaging many people's happiness and greatly contributing to their miscreations — keeping undesirable experiences in their life.
The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on, think about, and invest emotional energy towards is what you will attract into your life. And when you are resisting something that's exactly what you are doing — intensely thinking about and focusing on, usually with strong emotions, the thing you are resisting! Which means you are very likely to get more of that very thing — which is by definition something you don't like or want!
It's OK to notice what you don't want because it provides the contrast that allows you to recognize what you do want. Notice stuff you don't want for an instant and then choose what you DO WANT and put your attention on that and only on that.
Here's a quote, from the highly recommended book The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham, that dramatically illustrates the point made above.
Creators of WORLDS are not trying to fix problems. Creators of worlds identify what is not wanted for a split second, and then imagine and feel what is wanted for eternity.
The Power of Non-Resistance and Acceptance
One of the secrets to not attracting undesirable situations into your life and creating the smoothest, most peaceful and happy experience of life possible is the consistent application of the principle of Non-Resistance. Another term for Non-Resistance is ACCEPTANCE. Non-resistance involves the mental and emotional discipline to accept whatever arises as if you had chosen it. Instead of fighting undesirable situations that arise, accept them and work with them not against them — simply try to the make the best of them.
So here is one of my golden rules:
Whatever arises, accept it and make the best of It.
Sometimes this may mean completely letting go and just going with the flow. Other times it might mean taking a different or alternative approach to the problem but, and this is an important point, without holding any resentment. Guess what resentment is, it's a form of resistance, a form of non-acceptance, and a subtle focusing of one's energy on something you don't like and don't want — don't do it! Not only does the path of acceptance make everything go smoother and happier for everyone involved in the present moment but it makes it less likely that you will experience similar undesired situations in the future!
This doesn't mean you can never express your dissatisfaction with something you don't like — whether it's the weather that didn't cooperate with your planned outing, or the behavior of a friend or co-worker, a government or business policy, or whatever. It's OK to voice your concerns about things that aren't serving your best interests or the best interests of all. It's OK to take a stand on an issue BUT, and this is a BIG but, if ALL that you are doing is fighting against what you don't want then you are shooting yourself in the foot — you are miscreating. Because resisting what you don't like is focusing on what you don't want and that tends to sustain the very thing you consider a problem and would like to see go away.
To improve situations like these, and to make sure you don't get more like them, you must give as little energy to them as possible. To create something other than what you are fighting against or resisting you must give as little attention and energy to the problem and as much energy as you can (thoughts, emotions, imagination, intention, action and words) towards the solution or the way you would prefer things to be in the future — you must produce constructive energy.
What you focus on, you make bigger. The more energy you put into something, the more power you give it. Energy flows where attention goes, so resisting something just adds to it. It's in focusing on what you don't want that creates more of what you don't want.
Here's a pearl of wisdom to always keep in mind:
Where your energy flows your reality goes.
What if we made a habit of completely accepting whatever arises, even if it wasn't exactly what we expected or desired? What if, instead of fighting these situations, we strived to make the best of them?
I can tell you what would happen! Things would go a lot smoother, and everybody would be a lot happier! By completely accepting and making the best of every situation, no matter what it is, you'll experience increased peace of mind, and your life will flow with increased ease and grace!
Here's a quote from the globally respected modern spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, that echoes the sentiment expressed above:
You are a creator, and you are creating with your thoughts and emotions. Where you put your focus and emotional energy is what you get more of in your reality. And your thoughts and emotion are energy, as well as your words and actions — so point them in a constructive direction as much as you can. Fighting what you don't want is not constructive.
This applies not only to personal situations but also the collective situations. Many concerned citizens spend most of their energy fighting against government and corporate policies that they don't like rather than investing their energy to support what they do want.
The Power of Taking Responsibility for Everything You Experience
There are only two reasons why any experience comes into your life: (1) you have directly or indirectly created and attracted the experience via the Law of Attraction, regardless of whether you understand the reasons or not or (2) your higher-self designed them as a needed catalyst for your growth. This realization can dramatically change your perspective about the adverse situations that enter your life. When you fully embrace them as your creations you are then empowered to dis-create them with your knowledge of the mechanics of creation and with your mental and emotional self-mastery.
By taking full responsibility for every situation that arises and accepting it AS IS, and making the best of it, you make these moments go as smoothly as possible for everyone involved, including yourself, and you pave the way for smooth sailing in the future.
Expect wonderful!
